I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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