I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
