i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
