Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
