You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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