areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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