he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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