this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We need to rekindle our bromance
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
