I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
