Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
