i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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