there was a trapeze. enough said
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
