She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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