This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
