Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
