also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
