We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just had sex on a roof
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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