Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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