dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
