when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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