I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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