I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
