I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
