Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
