I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
