We're like a lot better than the average bears
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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