is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
