I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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