my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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