Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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