Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
