I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
