Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
