I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
