We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
