okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
