i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
