He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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