If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
