Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

So drunk i had to piss sitting down...

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

You should get more absorbent shoes.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.

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(360): View more from Washington

Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.

(360): View more from Washington

DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy

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(248): View more from Michigan

I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.

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