If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
