Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
