You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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