I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
