census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dick very happy bro
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
