We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
