She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
