you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
