I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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