who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
we're so committed to being not committed
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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