i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
